Hey math strategy people. How’z it going in your world?
In mine, it’s more of the same, though let me get more specific. I am always talking with parents, asking them questions: How’s your child doing? What are they thinking, how’s your child feeling about their math? Feedback from teacher? What successes are you seeing, what are you concerns? And of course, parents respond with direct, honest answers, and voice any other issues. A recent concern I got, and one that’s been a common staple over the years is a version of this, “My child gives up a lot”. They don’t seem to stick with it when the going gets tough” … many voice that, but recently a parent was more direct, “Any advice?”
My child gives up a lot”. They don’t seem to stick with it when the going gets tough”
The misunderstanding about giving up!
And my response to their statements or in this case, their question, “Any advice?”, is always a version of this:
Your child does not give up because they don’t know how to do the question. They give up because they have never ever been taught a problem-solving strategy on how to not give up! They’ve never been taught a strategy on how to figure out a tough question, on their own!
Let me back up for a moment.
If your child doesn’t like math, or doesn’t feel they’re good at it, their objective becomes a version of, “Let me get this math and homework done and over with as quickly as possible.”
How do they achieve that? By skipping steps and it’s a superb ‘strategy’ because they can think faster than they can write.
But skipping steps creates an issue that is invisible at the time, as writing steps does not become a habit.
Understanding “I give up”
When a student reads a question and thinks, “I don’t know what to do,” that means they can’t do it quickly. That creates a dilemma, since they have a habit of wanting to do math quickly.
Where does this “I give up” habit originate? It’s the result of doing easy questions by skipping steps because doing it mentally is quicker. Giving up is the culmination of not writing steps when doing questions, they know how to do.
Giving up is the culmination of not writing steps, when doing questions, they know how to do.
And writing steps, it turns out, is the key to getting any challenging question that stumps them! Writing steps in math, it turns out, plants the seeds of future brainstorming.
The self-talk in your child’s mind is, “I can’t do this,” and the outcome you see is your child giving up. It doesn’t have to be that way.
What’s the impact of giving up?
It’s the early warning system that weak areas won’t get strengthened.
It means math progress will be affected in the short and long term.
It removes the opportunity to work on the habit of problem-solving.
It causes parental concern about not persevering.
Giving up, will become a habit!
The ‘giving up’ problem
Giving up when faced with a question they think they can’t do becomes a lasting habit if done repeatedly.
A habit is an automatic reaction to something happening. If you know about how habits are formed, Trigger > Reaction > Reward:
1) The tough question is the trigger, the reminder,
2) The reaction, ‘I give up,’ is the result,
3) The reward is no effort or energy expended!
Many of the discussions that I’ve had with parents over the years often lead to the parent expressing concern about their child not living up to their potential, and giving up plays a part in that. For example,
The title of this Math by Edison, “My child gives up a lot. Any advice?” was from a mother about her grade 7 daughter (age 12).
There was the father of a grade 8 student who wanted his daughter to get better at problem-solving.
And the father who wanted help for his grade 10 son who was getting 90s. The worry was how quickly he gave up when stuck, and with the plan to attend a top university for engineering, his father was concerned about this weakness being a roadblock to future success.
The mother who called me about her grade 11 son who had a 5% - his auto-response to any math question, “I don’t know’, and yup his reward? He didn’t have to think or do any more math!
When “I don’t know” doesn’t mean I don’t know
A challenging question is a question that looks unfamiliar. Said in a very juvenile way, it's basically an easy question dressed up to look intimidating.
To move your child away from the trigger thought of "I give up," with that challenging question, they first need to prove to themselves that they know more than they think.
When “I don’t know” doesn’t mean I don’t know
Writing what they know is the process of making the math familiar! This is crucial for them to grasp since it gives them a leg up with problem-solving.
In a session, when they’re stuck or tell me, “I don’t know’, I'll respond, "Write what you know" - tell me something you know about this question, and I’ll coach them on how to replace their “I don’t know” with “I’ll write what I know.”
The way I guide the student on what to think and write is via three tips - here’s the deets (aka details):
Tell me the meaning of that word and that word and that word.
What does that symbol mean and what about that one and this one?
Make a picture of any part of the question.
When they write, the magic begins as they take steps to close the gap between what they know and don’t know. And I’ll applaud them like crazy - well done, super, fantastic, excellent, fabulous, terrific, awesome, high five ✋🏽!
And yes, most students are surprised to be acknowledged for their efforts because they’re not used to being ‘patted on the back’ for actions that don’t lead to the correct answer immediately. But that’s what the start of not giving up looks like!
A student can only become a better problem-solver when they know what to do when they’re challenged. Having a strategy in place gives them a boost.
Best in not giving up,
Edison
Edison Hopkinson BSc Mech Eng, B.Ed., OCT
Math Learning Strategist
Strategies to use when the usual isn’t working!